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I am, of course, one of the Generation X mystics, nursed on Nova and Captain Picard, influenced by Einstien and The Amazing Randi, and discipled by Chesterton and The Inklings.
I have been a skeptic of the paranormal since my youth, an evangelical Christian since my preteens, and a dreamer since birth.
There was a conflict within me that I did not realize until a few years ago. A well was drying and the world was decaying into mere materials. I had always believed in God, and I had professed a belief in the supernatural. However, I saw no spirits in the wind, no naiads in the springs, just plains of cold, desolate facts. Thunderstorms were merely the cycle of condensation and evaporation, friction and electromagnetism, predictable splotches of color on the doppler screen.
At some point, I became aware that the purely rational mind is morbid. The so-called "scientific" man looks out across the aeons and sees the vast, bleak infinity. The end is death, and the scientific man's only hope is that some future generation will build enough upon the past to escape the senselessness.
I have become irritated with the worshippers of Science. Who speak of their omnipotent god with the arrogance and assurance that he is the savior of humanity. I believe firmly in the scientific method. I revel in the researches of quantum mechanics. I devour an issue of Discover as if it were candy. But I cannot accept mere science as the end of all things.
There is a sickness we instinctly know. We write books and make movies to fight it. Brave New World, 1984, Brazil, Gattaca, and so on. It is the end of the via scientia sola.
So at age 30, I have begun to understand poetry. I have a notion of why it is the highest art, of why God wrote it into the very fabric of existence.
God has crafted truth in at least two dialects: beauty as well as knowledge.
Out of the Question
David Wilcox
from Into The MysteryCase closed. I was certain in my youth
God knows, I had my scientific proof
In my mind, I thought I saw the truth
Never looked beyond my lenses; never saw that it was youOut of the question
So the answer I could never see
Out of the question I look for you and you find me
Out of the question
You're closer than the air I breath
But out of the question
And into the mysteryMy heart - brings me to my knees
There's God: the forest for the trees
Move me, like the wind will stir the leaves
I give way to the mystery like the branches in the breeze and I'm...Out of the question
Catch the wind inside my fist? No it's
Out of the question
Try to trap you and I know I've missed
Out of the question
The place you will always be, is
Out of the question
And into the mysteryTruth is there for finding, but the logic that's involved
is a mystery unwinding, not a problem to be solvedOut of the question
I look for You, and You find me
Out of the question
In truth you will always be
Out of the question
You're closer than the air I breath
Out of the question...
and Into the mystery!
Firstly, his name is pronounced "ran in", as in: "He ran in the marathon".
As I mentioned in the last post, Ranen was born very early on Friday the 17th. Layla and Alice (our midwives) thought that his arm may be broken and after a 2:00am call to Dr. Elzie they recommended that we take him to doctor first thing in the morning. They left around 3:30am or so. Sandra and I passed out on our bed, Ranen slept on my chest.
We left with Ranen for the pediatrician around 9:30am. The clinic was full of children sick with the flu. Sandra, Ranen and Sharon (Sandra's mother) waited in the parking lot. After a few minutes they had us in the well child waiting room and one of the nurses was talking with us about the best course of action.
They decided to send us to another facility to x-ray Ranen's arm before seeing the doctor. So before he was 12 hours old, in fact before he had a name, my infant son was lying on a cold steel table under a enormous machine pumping radiation through his tiny body. Sandra had decided to let me stay with him during the x-ray. I was already emotionally raw. My eyes were watery and it took all of my will to contain my tears.
Praise God, there were no broken bones. It was in the hallway, just outside the x-ray room, where we decided on his name. We had a list of about 15 names that Sandra had collected from various sources. Ranen was listed as meaning "joyous" and Zane as "God's gracious gift".
Sandra was seeing spotted and we asked for a wheelchair out to the car. The pediatrician had said not to return until 2pm (they were swamped). It was only 12:30pm.
We drove back home with the hope to sleep and eat before returning. My parents arrived right after us with Adah. We had some take-out from Coosh's, but almost no sleep.
Back a the pediatrician's (we arrived a few minutes late), they showed us in quickly. Dr. Elzie said that Ranen looked great; a strong, healthy boy. Nevertheless, he had some concern about one thing.
Sandra had tested positive for Strep B. Not a big deal in itself as some estimate that 1 in 3 women have it. It is common procedure to adminster a dose of antibiotics during labor to keep the baby from contracting the bacteria. However, Sandra is allergic to most antibiotics, and the primary used to defend against this one. The midwives gave an alternative antibiotic, but the doctor said there was a slim chance that the antibiotics would not work. He recommended a blood test immediately.
<sigh>
So we loaded Ranen back in the car and headed to the lab. We decided to drop off Ranen and myself for the blood test, so that Sandra could go pick up her Rogam shoot at the blood bank. So Ranen and are are alone in the waiting room of LabCorp. Everyone there is telling how cute he is and ask how old, and everyone is equally astounding when I say "He was born today". Heck, I was astounded.
At LabCorp, they prick Ranen's heels and squeeze (yes, squeeze) the blood out of his ankles. The wells in my eyes began to swell, I was holding my newborn son as I watched drop after drop of his life blood squeezed from his body into a tiny tube.
After Sandra and Sharon picked us from LabCorp, we headed over to The Birth Cottage for Ranen's check up and for Sandra to receive the Rogam shot. While there I receive a call from LabCorp explaining the the test results were botched and that we'd need ot bring Ranen back in the morning. I wanted to cry again.
We finally made it home for good around 6:30pm. Shortly, there after Dr. Elzie calls to give me the news about the blood tests. He says that it's not worth doing it over because we're more than half way through the danger period. He tells us to keep an eye on Ranen through the night for any signs of Strep B infection.
End of Day 1.

In less than two minutes God destroyed my world and then rebuilt it. "For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry."
My son, Ranen Zane, was born today at 12:46am. He was born at home; in my own bedroom.
I knew that there was a problem during labor when the midwives' behavior changed. There was a sudden urgency in the voices; they went from asking Sandra to do things to giving her commands. When Ranen came out, he was limp and purple and lifeless.
I collapsed behind Sandra, terrified and stricken. My head was filled with a single prayer: God have mercy on me. Layla, the midwife, called out to dial 911. Sandra simply stroked and said over and over in a calm voice "God wants you here. Come on, baby."
Ranen had never ceased to move inside the womb. He was constantly kicking and turning. Boiling inside Sandra's belly with life and energy. To see him there, to understand that my son might be dead, it is more than I can explain.
The midwives acted marvelouslly and applied CPR and oxygen while Sandra called to him.
I have never heard a more joyful sound than his first cry. It was the breaking of dawn. I have never felt so thankful, so worshipful. All I could do was glorify God. The joy I experienced cannot be kept silent.
Additional photos will be posted here.
- This is week 38 for me, err...depending on what numbers you are using. Nursery is not setup, but what does an infant need really? I've got the food part taken care of. I do have clean clothes, some blankets and hats, a package of diapers and wipes. I think he'll sleep in the bassinet attachment for the pack 'n play for the first few weeks. So, as far as I'm concerned, I am SO prepared. Right.
- Bathroom is moving along: the plumbing drops for the claw foot tub and the shower are done, the slate tile floor has been installed (we still need to seal it), so the next step is the drywall and painting. Then the walk-in shower.
- <having a contraction>
- This is my last week working for Hummingbird. I shall miss the people and the money. And, the work is fun when developers are not still rewriting code a week before release.
- I'm going to be giving my friend Michelle a list of people to call when the baby arrives. I have to be honest and this sentiment is a little odd, considering how "close" everyone was for the last birth. (Close, as in, lots of people in my delivery room post baby.) Basically, I'm looking forward to having a home birth for the privacy of the environment. I kind of don't want people around for a day or two. Selfish? Yes, I'm sure it is. And, I'll see how I feel about it when the time comes, but at the moment, I'm looking forward to a small, quiet type of miracle entrance into the world.
- There's a full moon this month around the 13th. Valentines Baby?
