I go through my day thinking, "I want to blog about this." It happens dozens of times a day. Most of the time it's something crazy Adah has done, something cute Ranen has done, something not-to-smart that I have done (started baking cookies at 5:30 PM when I had no idea what I was cooking for dinner and no food in the house...).

So, here it is, almost 11 PM and I have nothing left in RAM...just a blank slate. I'll start with a few facts, maybe that will jog my memory:

• Ranen is 4 months old. He's rolling over from his stomach to his back. Sometimes, well, err...a lot of the time, he'll do this in his sleep and will wake himself up.
• Adah is doing great. She's being a sweet big sister. There are times when Ranen is fussing and I can't get to him immediately and she'll go over and entertain him. A lot of times she can get him to laugh and giggle.
• I'm reading the Ragamuffin Gospel as well as Shepherding a Child's Heart, so I've been doing a lot of thinking about grace. How to really understand it, believe it and show it to a child.
• Adah has been doing a lot of drawing and writing of words. Here's an example of her "baby chick." As for writing, I have a notebook that I keep in the kitchen to write down shopping lists and "to do" lists. Adah will sometimes get a hold of it and add her pictures and words to it. Yesterday I noticed she had added an item to my current shopping list, "POOP." I asked her if she wrote it and she said, "Yes, I was trying to write PAPA." I told her that she wrote poop and we had a good laugh. Then she explained that she was hoping for a chocolate poop cake. Ahhh...the humor of preschoolers.
• Which brings me to more humor. The other morning Adah was up early and I was out on the sofa trying to wake up. She brought me the Kleeman and Mike comic book and asked me to read the story about the dog peeing on the skateboard. Now, this story has no words...just pictures. It's very well done and I couldn't help but laughing at the way the request sounded. I know you're thinking, "What sort of media do you let your child consume.?!" But, trust me, I wouldn't let her watch most Disney films, but Kleeman and Mike are good.
• I've updated the Gallery with some pics from May 2006 (taken with the Canon AE-1).

Wish my brain dump had more in it. But, that's all that's left.

Several years ago when I was travelling more, I was waiting at a luggage carousel in an airport. People always crowd around luggage carousels as if they will be unavailable to spot their luggage from a few feet away. I make it my habit to stand back. Now about a quarter of the luggage was already in orbit, when a larger suitcase got jammed on the delivery belt. Half a dozen people were within three feet of the offending bag. The luggage began to pile up immediately. Everyone just stared. I watched for a seond expecting one of the people that was in arm's reach to unblock the jam. After several seconds, the bulge was growing and still no one moved. I began moving forward to uplug the baggage bung, but the pressure had already hit critical and a volley of suitcases spilt onto the ground.

***

Father's Day (among other recent events) has caused me to reflect upon "being a man". In fact, that was the theme of our service at Canopy Roads today: being a man.

The dominant characteristic of "manhood", in my current thinking, is action. When the time for action arises, move.

"...the man who really counts in the world is the doer, not the mere critic-the
man who actually does the work, even if roughly and imperfectly, not the man who
only talks or writes about how it ought to be done."

Theodore Roosevelt (1891)

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.

James 1:22

Even more recently, I've been drawn to the verse is James that states:

Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.

James 4:17

I've also developed a sense of immediacy. Procrastination is no different from not doing something. To him who knows to do good and waits until it is convenient to do it... or to him who knows to do good, talks about doing it, is often encouraging others to do it, but hasn't gotten around to doing himself, to him it is sin.

To borrow a technique from John Eldridge, think about all your favorite men characters: William Wallace, Maximus, Aragorn, Neo. Think about the moments in their stories that most exhilirate you. They are moments when action is needed, and action is delivered. They are moments when others stand by and watch, but the heroes become heroes because they act. They move.

We had scheduled an arborist to remove the Bradford Pear that has adorned our frontyard for so long. A bit less than a third of the tree fell in Hurricane Denise, with minor damage to our house, and Sandra has since been anxious to remove it. So Sandra sorted through numerous tree removal experts and settled on one a few weeks back. Now anyone in Tallahassee knows that if you are able to even have business of the "handyman" nature return a telephone call, then you are doing well. Additionally, tree removal has been quite popular with recent hurricane seasons and what not.
So today, we check the weather and Alberto is predicated both to become a hurricane and to hit our area. Again, the scheduled tree removal was not to the end of the week and even then they said "we'll try to squeeze you in". Thus the duty falls to the man of the house.
I told my manager that I needed to take off the rest of the day (3pm) and called up Brian Janek. He came right over with his chainsaw and tree-felling experience and we got to work.
The tree was very close to my house and had several branches over hanging my neighbor's house. I was a bit concerned, but we brought her down successful.
The final blow was delivered by Janek, burying the gas powered broadsword into the base of the beast. I held the tether taunt, wrapped around my arm and back. Brian delivered the final cut and I saw the timber waver and then give.
It hit the ground with a quiet rush, right at my feet, a shockwave of wind and leaves.
I have posted some blurry pictures in our gallery.

The past day or two Adah has been using the word "guilty." It started with her using it incorrectly and me having to explain it's meaning. Oh, let me tell you how much an almost-4-year-old can utilize such a word: Christopher was at the men's Bible study, so I was getting the kids ready for bed, which at that moment meant nursing Ranen while Adah did whatever Adah does when I'm not in the room with her. She walked into Ranen's bedroom and said, "Mom, I feel guilty. But, I don't want to tell you what I did, you won't like it." While she was speaking, I noticed the bangs of her hair looking a little odd. I said, "Adah, tell mom, you may get in trouble, but it is always best to let mom know." She then proceeded to tell me that she used her scissors to cut her hair. She said she didn't like her curls (the little bits on the side of her face), so she cut them off. As she told me this, I took in the full image of her hair. So sad. Adah has beautiful hair, all I could do was close my eyes and tell her that her daddy would be sad she cut her beautiful hair (I probably shouldn't have said that...it's hard to know the line between emotional manipulation and just the facts...he will be sad). So, Adah has a handful of hair she hid under the sofa, a chunk out of her bangs, and a few chunky layers around her face. Do I take her to get her hair cut, or keep it as is? Also, as a side note on how explanations can get you in trouble. Adah asked why we shouldn't cut our hair, I gave some explanation that was, if I remember, trying to apply the idea that God wants us to take care of our bodies (or some such horrible thread of logic seeping from a tired mind). She then asked me why I cut my hair short.

***

I also want to note that I have a wonderful husband. He puts up with a lot of CRAP (here translated as neurotic behaviors, bad attitudes, lack of faith, poor communication skills, and so on) from me...dealing with it with a lot of grace and patience. God has been (is) good to me, convincing Christopher to marry me and all.

I just finished about 5 hours of tile work in the bathroom. I completed about half of my shower. Spencer helped for a good bit and then Sandra came in for some of the cleanup work after the kids went to bed. It's going to look good.
Last night, Spencer, Janek, and I went to help out at the Red Letter 9 warehouse. We were there from about 9pm to 2am. They needed some extra labor getting a lot of back ordered product out the door. We did the same thing Thursday night from 8pm to midnight with the addition of Jimmy Alley, and I was there as well on Wednesday night.
It's been a pretty full week, with lots of physical labor. It felt pretty good after spending so much time starting at these flat panel monitors. (Sometimes it makes my eyes hurt).
All of this draws me back my recurring theme. Action is good.

I haven't really posted much about Ranen's personality, but I was thinking about it tonight as I went in to check on him. It was about 9:30 PM and I had put him to bed an hour earlier. During dinner, he sat and chewed on both mine and Christopher's thumbs (not at the same time), and it wasn't very comfortable...that boy was chewing! So, I think he's in the process of teething, and it's already been a few weeks of this and no teeth yet. He woke up screaming tonight and when I flipped him over (yes, he's sleeping on his tummy, don't call the state), he immediately smiled at me. Now, granted as soon as his smile of "hello, mom, good to see you, can you help me out with this discomfort?" was over, he continued with his discontent, but it is just amazing to me that he takes the time to smile in the midst of that fussing. He really likes to smile at people, and if you can work a laugh, it's like taking a poopy-filled, spit-up-filled, disobedient-3-year-old-filled day and turning it into a blessed event.

***

I had some crème fraîche left over from last week (it keeps in the fridge for ten days) and I decided to try it with some fresh blueberries and fresh cherries. I highly recommend trying some with fresh cherries (great flavor mixture), but just eat the blueberries by themselves.

***

Adah has been doing well with swimming lessons. The first thing she asked me after her first lesson, "Mom, why didn't he teach me how to swim?" It's a process, baby.

My friend Darcy informed me of this blog that I've become addicted to: Cupcake Bakeshop. It's written by a woman who, I believe, is a chemical engineer who moonlights as a baker of cupcakes, making up her own extraordinary recipes. They are really incredible.

I hope to aspire to that sort of baking one day. In the meantime, I wanted to post a link to a confection I made for Darcy's birthday that came out really well: Chocolate Caramel Tarts. These were easy to make in camparision to the results. The only trick was preparing ahead to make the crème fraîche. The leftover tarts have been gone from my house many days, but the memory lingers on...I am such a chocolate lover!

I have been pretty restless lately, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. As Sandra mentioned in a previous post, we've been thinking about our future quite a bit lately. Tonight, we met at Chic-fil-A with the Monday Night gang. I spent some time talk to Jim Lehman who is working on his PhD in Religious Studies from FSU (he is also the pastor at Antioch Baptist Church). Jim and I go back to 1993. He mentioned something about his "future career"; the specific implication being his career after receiving his PhD. The idea stuck with me. Jim is maybe a year older than me. Theoretically, we entered the wondrous Work Force years and years ago. (When did I graduate?) Nevertheless, I feel like I have not started. I am restless because I feel like I have not started. When Creative Metrics hired me, my employer, Glenn Hallam, said that one's early 30's are some of the most creative years of one's life. That thought has rattled in the back of my mind ever since. I have always clung to "creativity" as one of my chief assets, though in retrospect I feel that I have created very little. I am restless.
I have been reading about the rise and fall of VeggieTales as chronicled by the founder Phil Vischer. It is an inspiration to me. In many ways VeggieTales is exactly the sort of thing I would like to do with my life. It encompasses many aspects that appeal to me: story telling, teaching, art, digital media, etc. Now, I do not want to do what has already been done, but I want to do that type of thing. I am restless to produce.
Several months ago, Michael Strickland asked me to have lunch with him. The invitation was somewhat suspect and knowing that Michael is not one to hide offenses I thought that perhaps I had done something that he wanted to discuss. Well, in a somewhat backwards way I was correct. He said that I seemed worn and depleted and he recommended that I leave the software profession altogether and pursue academia. That too has stayed with me.
Today Sandra came into my office during one of those brief periods where Adah and Ranen were not demanding her attention. We looked at each other. “Why are we so tired? Both of us, and all the time? Why are we dissatisfied? How should we spend the next two, five, ten years?” We are restless.

After reading articles on GER in infants, I thought Ranen (who is at 14 weeks) might be ready for the SuperSaucer we had up in the attic from when Adah was a baby (a great yard sale find from a great friend). He wasn't too sure about it the first time or two, but he seems to be enjoying himself. He spent a good ten minutes looking at his reflection in the little mirror. I wasn't sure if he had figured out who was looking back at him. This week has been a jump in his motor skills, grabbing items and moving them to his mouth and maintaining his torso upright for longer periods.

****

For all of you NPR fans, check out the trailer for the upcoming movie A prairie Home Companion.

****

Adah will be starting swimming lessons next week. I'm a little nervous about the prospect for a few reasons, Adah's strange regard for authority, lugging a baby along, what Adah will think of having her head put under the water, etc. Ahhh...summer is here.