Dear Lord of Heaven and Earth,
Help me to remember what it feels like to hold a baby. To remember the rhythm of patting him on the bottom to soothe a cry. Burn in my brain the feel of his chest against mine, the breathing much quicker than mine, the stifled cries as he calms. Help me to recall the feel of baby skin, the other-worldly softness, the delicateness. Let me remember his eyes as they light up at seeing me and my smile, his smile reflected. Bring to my mind the feeling as he drifts off to sleep in my arms: first his limbs relax, then the weight of his body shifts and becomes motionless, his breathing slows and deepens. Help me to recall his giggles, coming up from his belly and emanating up his chest and shoulders; the ones for no other reason than I put his shirt on. Let me recall the feel of his fingers clinging to my own. The suck, suck, swallow of nursing. The look of a pacifier bobbing up and down as he falls asleep. The kick of his feet splashing in the bath tub. How kissing his cheeks can only be done in multiples.
Help me not to forget how precious and how fleeting.
Labels: baby, emotions, reflection
